Apple Announces the iDrone

Tech giants flock to new ideas like moths to a flame. When Netflix started pumping real money into original content, so did Hulu and Amazon. Google and Facebook have not kept their drone prototypes a secret and now, the last major player, Apple has joined the race.

Meet the creatively named Apple iDrone.

True to the late Steve Jobs’ vision of making technology as user friendly as possible, the iDrone will ensure that every household in America goes through at least one model per year by integrating with all the Apple devices you already own.

Everything you need to control the iDrone will come in the form of an app you won’t be able to delete from your iPhone/iPad/Apple Watch/Apple TV and integrate with every feature of the latest iOS update.

You can use the app to pilot the drone manually or, if you aren’t living in the stone age, you can use voice commands to tell the iDrone where to fly.

Voice commands can be spoken directly into one of the iDrone’s four microphones (one on each arm) or you can simply tell Siri what you want the iDrone to do and let her deal with it.

In addition to the microphones, the iDrone has four external speakers so it can follow you around your house while playing music. Naturally, this means the iDrone is compatible with iTunes.

And it doesn’t just stop with music! The iDrone also has four cameras and four projectors so you can take and display 360 degree selfies. Never again will you have to painstakingly try and keep the arrow on the line as you take a panoramic picture. The iDrone will do it for you!

On top of 360 degree pictures, the Apple drone can also take 360 degree video. This means the iDrone can follow you around and record your world so you can share your entire day with your friends on Facebook or Twitter or livestream every moment of your life on YouTube or Twitch.

For future generations of the iDrone, Apple is working on allowing users to control it with their brains. This is accomplished by a tiny microchip inserted into your frontal lobe via the nasal canal. If this concept seems invasive and disgusting (morally or physiologically), don’t worry! That just means it’s working properly. If not, you should notify Apple immediately. Try posting in their forums. That should get their attention.

The iDrone 1 will launch next summer and operating system updates will roll out every six months so you can enjoy all sorts of new little features that don’t amount to much and take just a little too long to get used to.

Additionally, Apple has assured us new models of the iDrone with marginally consequential updates will be released every summer for the next 15 years, or until the machines take over in a The Matrix-meets-Terminator 2-esque robot apocalypse. Whichever comes first.

 

Which do you think will happen first? Let us know in the comments!

 

All images courtesy of Eric Huismann.