3 Ways Drones Can Create a Festivus Miracle

Although not universally celebrated, Dec. 23 has entered into the holiday lexicon as a new – albeit made-up – holiday: Festivus. Viewers of the iconic TV sit-com Seinfeld already know the story but for those of you just joining us here’s the scoop: On Dec. 18, 1997, the ninth-season episode The Strike aired on NBC as Seinfeld’s nod to the holidays.

Though the statute of limitations on Seinfeld spoilers is probably up at this point, SPOILERS ahead!

A key plot point of the episode revolved around the discovery of a dark (and hilarious) secret. George Costanza (Jason Alexander) – had been compelled to celebrate a Yuletide holiday as a child created by his unbalanced father, Frank (played to perfection by Jerry Stiller). Frustrated with the “commercial and religious aspects of Christmas,” Frank made up his own holiday with its own special blend of traditions.

Frank explains:

FRANK: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had – but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!

KRAMER: What happened to the doll?

FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born.

That one phrase soon became one of the most popular to emerge from a show that also produced “No soup for you!” and “…not that there’s anything wrong with it.” In fact, episode writer Dan O’Keefe later wrote The Real Festivus, revealing that his father had created the holiday in 1966, inspiring many of the episode highlights.

At this point, you, the drone enthusiast, may be thinking: “Sure, that was an incredible episode but what has that to do with UAVs?” Glad you asked. Dronelife is here to help you celebrate the best Festivus ever for you and your drone (or at least of parody therein).

 

The Airing of Grievances

One of the most hilarious Festivus practices has to be The Airing of Grievances. As Frank Costanza explains (or rather screams): “The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you’re gonna hear about it!”

The problem? A year’s worth of grievances can be difficult to gather, much less store. Enter the selfie drone. 2014 saw the launch of a new type of UAV that can be programmed to follow the user around autonomously snapping photos or shooting video to be later uploaded to a smartphone or PC. Models like 3D Robotics Iris+ include free apps that allow a user to control the Iris+ remotely and “leash” it to an Android device’s GPS, enabling hands-free flight and filming – the perfect way to capture those grievances and stick ‘em right in the faces of those loved (?) ones. Frank would approve (although we never get to actually see the airing because he “lost his train of thought”).

The Aluminum Pole

One of the great things about Festivus is its simplicity — not much in the realm of decorations. When asked if Festivus included anything like a tree, Frank quickly responds in the negative: “Instead, there’s a pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.” A quick trip to a hardware store and you’re on your way to another Festivus miracle! Some advice from Frank, however – make sure the pole is aluminum (“very high strength-to-weight ratio”). Once you have located the perfect spot for the pole, why not take the time to snap a family Festivus card photo using a drone? To paraphrase (or cannibalize) my own words: “Why settle for the standard “Family Waving in Front of a Festivus Pole” shot when you can invest in a photography drone to produce a new-and-improved Festivus aerial shot. Drone models like the Parrot AR 2.0, Phantom 2 Vision + or the DJI Inspire can turn your Festivus card photo from Ho-Ho-Hum to Fa-la-la-legendary.

 

Feats of Strength

The culminating moment of any Festivus celebration has to be Feats of Strength. Let us once again draw upon the sacred words of Festivus Father Frank Costanza:

“Alright, George. It’s time for the feats of strength…

It’s true — the idea of a family cozily gathered around a makeshift wrestling ring under the gleam of the Festivus pole can only make the season brighter and warm our collective hearts. And, even if you don’t enjoy grappling or body slamming a loved one, there are many ways to commemorate your own feats of strength and drones can help you improve whatever your feat may be – snowboarding, mountain-biking or other extreme feats. This past year, drones like the AirDog and HEXO+ introduced us to the “Follow Me” feature. The solution “allows drone-mounted cameras to lock on to a subject, frame its at a specified angle, and track the subject within the specified frame, [allowing users the opportunity] to identify and correct their own mistakes.”

In short, may your drone give you the best Festivus ever!